NEEDED: Space

Previous winter breaks for our little family have been pretty stressful. The change in routine upsets the natural order of our schedules and since it is different, it is to be challenged by J. It’s basically an extended weekend by 14 days but with way more places to go, people to see and things to do. It has more sensory input than any other time of the year. So more behavioral issues, sleep pattern changes and mood fluctuations are to be expected and not to be held against someone with autism, our J.

But this winter break, our J has really shown us how much he has grown in the past year, figuratively but also literally. It may have been more noticeable this year because unlike previous years our winter break was less stressful and more home bound than ever before. J showed us that he has truly become comfortable in his own skin. His personality has been more prevalent than ever before. He’s truly grown into his 8 year old self.

How? He’s been wanting his own space, no more needed or wanted attention from Mom & Dad, unless at his request. He prefers to sit on the couch by himself or at the kitchen table with no company, even escaping to his bedroom when he wants self isolation. All in order to read his books in peace. From one book nerd to another I completely understand.

But for an 8 year old it sounds lonely, doesn’t it?

It definitely took us by surprise when it first started happening. At the beginning of winter break there were days that were a little to quiet as he requested his own space. As the break proceeded there were days that I was going to his bedroom every 15-20 minutes to check on him. Days that Lance was doing every goofy thing he could think of to bring him out of his room. Days that we’d turn music on or keep the TV on with Parks & Recreation to entice him to stay downstairs with us. And it might be just another phase but if not, that’s okay. Like I said before he is growing up and he’s not likely to stop doing that anytime soon, both figuratively and literally.

Luckily we’ll all be getting back to our routine in a day. We’re excited for Jax to have all his daily interactions again with his peers and school support team. We’re looking forward to hopefully having our regular interactions in the afternoon without him escaping to his bedroom. It might start off rough and take some time but again this is a change to the routine he has had for the last 2 weeks.

Change is big for those with autism and needs to be supported & understood, not discouraged or discredited. It’s not a negative reflection on you as a parent when unforeseen personality changes take place with your child. It is a reflection on you as a parent with how you deal & handle it.

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